Mom's Gonna Lose It!

Before having kids, I would have described myself as patient, non-threatening, and accommodating.

Not anymore! Now I'm a mom.

Almost every day I find myself near-bursting with impatience, making all manner of threats, and/or refusing to accommodate (“No! Absolutely NO pet larvae in this house.”).

I might have never known I had a Rapid Ignite Button if I hadn’t given birth to little Button Pushers. 

I take responsibility for this temper, and I'm working hard to be the patient mama I envisioned myself to be pre-kids. But – at the same time – the kids needn’t look so surprised when I lose my temper. I lose it over the same issues again and again. 

Like spilled milk. 

A sure way to make me lose it is to set your glass of milk on the edge of the table and then bump it with your elbow, so it tips over and the milk spreads in a wide fan-shape across the table and runs down all sides and soaks into the upholstered dining room chairs and the area rug. And, while this is happening, be sure you just sit there, fascinated, and stare at it instead of running to grab a dishcloth. Agh! Even thinking about it raises my blood pressure. 

(Deep, cleansing breath.) 

If I lose my temper over the same issues again and again, why can’t the kids anticipate it and run for cover or – better yet – run for a dishcloth? That's what I often wonder.

BUT, wonder no more! Thanks to this great new algorithm I just invented, the loss of my temper need never be a mystery again.

This handy little tool can be taped to the refrigerator and used over and over again to determine when Mom’s Gonna Lose It. I call it My Patented Mom’s Gonna Lose It™ Algorithm. When the points add up to at least 20, mom’s gonna lose it, plain and simple. This great little tool can be customized to meet any parent’s unique set of breaking points!

My Patented Mom’s Gonna Lose It™ Algorithm

To use: Add all relevant points as you proceed from top to bottom. 

Did you reach 20 points? Bingo! Mom’s gonna lose it!